He called me an ungrateful bitch because I lauged when he asked me "how do you me and a bed sound?"
Like I should be grateful for the 5 minutes I sit on top of him and stare at the wall.
dude. you ripped the mardi gras beads off the girls neck and yelled she didnt deserve them..
saying that you may be able to suck the gay out of me was just my way of getting a blowjob...thank you for the valiant effort.
Oh god the guy I took underwear from at the bar is trying to add me as a friend on facebook now.
It was my penance. God came down to me in the form of an angel and said, "you must atone for your sins, by puking in your mouth at church right before communion"
I think shooting the BMW with the bow and arrow is when our group became the evening's antagonist
Apparently getting dressed is an all-day activity.
The fact that you're allowing Santa to dry hump your ass is sort of a dealbreaker
Well, we could've been at the bar taking a shot everytime my rash spread. But Noooooo. You had to go out with your non- girlfriend. Lame.
Now the circle is complete. Just interviewed a guy who was a higher up member of the team I worked for in my job before this place
Home-made laxative recipe: activia yogurt and tequila shots. Any ratio ought to work.
You seem like the type to go to a craft sale baked out of your mind. I like you.
Is it bad form to puke out of a dorm window to avoid looking bad in front of the people in your room?
How about from a sixth floor window?
half way down the stairs my legs said fuck this and i just fell the rest of the way...
I sharted in court today and had to sit on it for about three and a half hours.
Randomize
