I just watched Juno. I kind of wish I was in highschool and pregnant
i told her that she could bring as many friends as she wanted and then she asked how many people i could fit in my bed...BEST. DAY. EVERRRR.
Next weekend I am getting a library card and staying my whore ass home.
i'm thankful for my girlfriend's hot cousins....god, i love her family parties.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Playing drinking games to Nancy Grace totally counts as "keeping up with current events.."
I wonder if Barack Obama has ever been this drunk.
but seriously ill do anyone in one of those hats with the earflaps.
he was holding his dick in one hand and my boob in the other and i looked down and thought, this is my life
At this point, I really just need a sign in sheet for my vagina.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Did you guys have sex yet? And don't worry, I broke the ice already by sending this to both of you. So you can just jump right into it. You're welcome.
I also have to vacuum the broken noodles out of my suitcase...
The sweaty, naked apartment dance party wasn't complete until I threw the whole jar of glitter on us. It was like the icing.
Didn't you used to babysit him?
18 years ago I helped him into his clothes. Today he helped me out of mine.
Best part about losing weight and not fitting into your pants any longer? They come off quick for chipotle emergencies.
It was a good hour of moans, penis compliments, smacks, and what sounded like someone running in flip flops
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