Nah got too drunk to function...probably could have dragged something home over my shoulder if the cops didn't roll
just saw Chris Hanson on the street. looked immediately around for video cameras. why is that my immediate reaction?
this girl literally referred to her butthole as her "back pussy"
He just did a 33 second keg stand with a fractured leg, busted chin and chipped teeth from running into a parked car after winning a race.
It was like stroking your vagina with a cloud.
There was definitely a significant amount of cookie dough in my bra
He pointed at some girls and said "I'm gonna have sex with them girls over there", and disappeared.
a pizza costume came into my possession last night. needless to say i showed up to his house wearing only the pizza, shouting "delivery" into his window.
If the river was whiskey, it would be the best river ever.
Starting the day with sex, coffee and productivity are what the founding fathers intended
I'm so excited for post-beer fest chipotle. It will be better than scared shitless pre-go karting chipotle.
Like pizza and mermaids make up about 1/3 of my thoughts on the weekends.
i like that he makes me laugh. those are like my two favorite things. laughing and fucking.
Love it. I wish you see me right now. I'm counting cash on my bed with no shirt on, beauty and the beast sound track on blast. Fucking creepin it up.
He is obviously into the really short sex we have.
Randomize
