He doesn't make grammatical errors. Even while getting head.
He violated my cat. I was not impressed.
Am I allowed to say that I would really enjoy blowing you again? Or does that fall into the "nothing changes between us" catagory?
Where are you? This girl fell on a baby. She is just gone. Please Hurry
I'm hurrying
Dude. She just shit herself.
Did you just say he wants to put a baby inside me?
apparently i walked around all last night forcing people to beer bong whatever drink was in their hand. so far this morning ive had three people refer to me as beer bong man
Tried making out with pop rocks in my mouth. That shit is magical.
I feel like a color. Like a wavy color
I'm looking for mother nature. And when I find her, I'm looking her right in the eyes and telling her to fuck off.
So apparently, after 11 beers, 2 pitchers of sangria and 3 rhum & cokes, the idea of popping a load of MD and jumping on the trampoline, in the woods, in my underwear was the best one ever.
Hypothetically speaking how does one remove a lamp that they hypothetically superglued to the ceiling?
Acetone nail polish remover, and you lied about studying last night didn't you?
Oh definitely.
I mean, I'm shallow, narcissistic, and selfish, but I'm an amazing friend sometimes
After the 2nd person threw up, you told us that your 'mint shooters' were just shots of mint mouthwash
I was simply suggesting that you really should try coke bondage sex.
Don’t be alarmed my pee bowl is in your shower
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