my mouth smells like i just ate out a crab.
soooo we both peed the bed last night...
getting caught by my parents in bed with another guy was way easier coming out than telling them over dinner like I had planned.
the only muscles i have these days is kegels
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just cleaned your Jaeger vomit off my car with a knife. Don't ever say I don't love you.
sorry for the blank pocket text. My penis obviously has nothing to say to you.
Needless to say they were not happy to find out that we braided their hair together, when one of them woke up needing to puke bad
Have you seen Dave? He's not on top of the bar anymore but I found his shirt.
I think I threw my underwear away at What-A-Burger last night.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Master Skywalker, there are too many of them. What am I going to do?
Hit on the one in the red shorts. The thirst is strong with this one.
Girl, he's like catnip for my pussy.
UPDATE: THERE IS ASS EATING. I REPEAT: THERE IS ASS EATING.
He just made this face while he was fucking me and he looked like the hunchback of Notre Dame, I had to stop him.
Let’s try it, I’ve never had a bad time with sex, tacos and beer.
duddde i wasn't even home last night and someone elses clothes are on my floor and there glow sticks everywhere?!
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