It really wasent that hard. The male one had a M and the woman one had a W. I just couldent comprehend that at the time.
Everything we own is covered in grass and KY
you got so mad from losing a game of beerpong that you went into another room by yourself and practiced for an hour and a half.
My mom gave me a book called "why good people do bad things"
I didn't realize you were one of the "good people"
Had to make a piece of abstract art. Your dick is in it
I have now hooked up with 8 of the Apostles. I have no idea where I'm going to find a guy named Bartholomew.
She thinks she's a fairy, dude. A real fucking fairy with wings and shit.
The cab driver was nice enough to let you finish your beer in the car, but you crossed the line when you started to pee in the empty bottle
I dreampt that we were shooting zombies while we having sex. Is that normal?
The guys are trying to figure out my orientation....think theyve settled on "drunksexual"
It's been awhile, you pregnant yet?
Also, my old intern Lizzie whom you fed pizza to last night wants to hang out with you
I yelled out "blow jobs!" in my macroeconomics class. Ask me more about how my life is spiraling out of control.
I really need to stop turning to the BDSM dungeon masters of tinder whenever my heart hurts
Steven and I talked about running for office again today. It's fucked that my 3 dream jobs are marijuana bakery owner, bar owner, and president.
Randomize
