i am a beautiful darrk chocolate womann
honey you're def caucasian
i am a beautiful white cholcllate woman.... Z
I told her at least we still had each other. That's when she started crying.
Used tampon in my purse. That from you?
Is a Chipotle burrito an acceptable "sorry I ran over your cat" gift?
Just bought two budlight beers with a can of tuna at the bar
New policy: when a woman uses the word blowjob in a sentence within 5 minutes of meeting her, you buy her a drink.
I try to help out whenever I can. Speaking of rough nights I woke up half naked on Brady's couch with bloody paper towels duct taped to my foot.
Promise me you won't have sex in my room
I can't promise you that, but I promise you that I'll try
Might want to in your tub tho. That thing is fucking huge.
All I've had today is a brownie and a shot of Jack, so you know. I'm doing ok.
You are like a vicious sex animal persistently seeking prey
do you want me to tag you in the pics from the party?
Hmm. Use your judgment. Bootlicking pics are probably not ok. Otherwise fine.
I just googled: how soon can I pee on a stick. What is my life coming to.
I wish more of my problems were easily solvable by taking a good long shit.
On a brief change if topic, last night I dreamt I got shit faced with bill Nye the science guy and we went bar to bar and explained the science of alcohol to everyone who'd give us free drinks. We wore bow ties
Be there in 6 mins I’m smell like fireball. and strippers and need to use your showers before go home
Randomize
