The elaphant ear plant popped a new leaf ! Wahoo !
I don't llike drinking between sober and blackout. Its boring.
i want you to feel like i'm letting you into my heart, not just my vagina.
My mother just asked me if i ever swallow the goods...should i be concerned?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
do you remember wearing her cheetah rainboots and making bacon shirtless?
three guys just busted into my bio lecture, yelled "happy st. patrick's day!", downed jagerbombs, and left.
I returned the dress. When they asked for the reason for return I said, 'I don't deserve to wear white'.
mid-sex i was thinking.. these are not the right balls slapping me
you fucked my boyfriend. margarita girls night will not fix this.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well I disagree, 3 different men in my bed over my birthday was the perfect way to say goodbye to my childhood innocence
well a fat roach just fell out of my hair. so there's that
You know that girl that climbed through my window and got in my bed with me and fucked me? It turns out she was real and has a real boyfriend who is real pissed
I think God is sending me all these 20 year olds to make up for wasting my 20's in that crappy ass marriage. Thanks Big Guy!
Things that have happened since you moved: Lemmy, Bowie, Snape, Prince, civility, democracy, Carrie Fisher, all dead. Record flooding down here. Twice. This is clearly your fault.
If he has a beard, chances are, that’s an open invitation to sit on his face
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