Seriously, stop being so datable w your movie/song prefs
he was wearing sponge bob boxers. Guess how long he lasted.
he whispered in my ear that he would be upstairs and i should come up. i stayed downstairs. he came back down and repeated to whisper in my ear. this happened about 5 times until he passed out.
So does your leg always twitch violently when someone plays with your clitoris? Or has my ten years of piano playing finally paid off?
i now know how you feel when you have to walk me home. she ran into a streetlight and into garbage.
He started telling people I was Stephen Hawking's son. When that didnt fly he switched to Tony Romo's cousin
how did the keg end up in the top bunk?
How many bratwuest were you able to fit in your mouth at one time? It's me, Hans.
She gave me a handjob at the dinner table while her dad was carving the turkey. I made eye contact with him. Im pretty sure he knew.
He broke the bed, AND shit in the closet. What a way to lose his virginity. What a night.
What kind of life do I lead that no one is surprised by the fact that I was watching porn at work with the hot 37 year old?
Just had a small freak out because I couldn't get my bra unhooked and thought I was gonna be stuck in it forever.
What do you think would be the best way to remove a baby carrot from a vagina?
He took off all my clothes, fingered me, than said "would you be more comfortable if I was naked too?"
Got baked and laid and ate baked lays when I laid down while baking the brownies I I’m Superman
You’re still high, aren’t you?
Oh yeah
Randomize
