i'm pretty sure the devil's penis is california-shaped
I got to work, greeted my staff, then went into the bathroom to throw up. Who hired me to run a business???
It's so hard to take my boss as an authorative figure with her New Moon movie tickets taped to her wall
his electricity got shut off. i felt like a pilgrim searching for his dick.
I'm drunk in class and I'm pretty sure the bible freak behind me is saying a prayer for me
omg. don't know how to spell his name, but hot new zealand guy's dick is magic
She's like a pop up book from hell.
I'm not a pervert.. I just like to be naked...
Well if all fails we can always become surrogate mothers. I hear that pays well.
Just sayin. I pissed on his couch, and ruined his stove. If he's not mad, we're partying there every weekend...
can I share that I'd like to fuck him in my new car as a sort of car warming present to myself?
I spilled beer everywhere which led to an oil fire and me melting a spatula again. And then I was late to class so I explained what happened to the teacher.
As if I wouldn't steal Nintendo brand "Mario is my HOMEBOY!" boxers when he gave me the entire drawer to choose from.
You spent the whole night conversing with your zombie poster, so I'd say you were pretty far gone.
He showed up in a Prius. I didn’t even wanna.... So I left.
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