he's going on about how he's going to treat me right and wants to let himself be in love with me and spend a lot of time together. kids these days. like its not about sex anymore. i'm confused.
Just got new surround sound speakers for my computer... I feel like I'm actually IN the porn now.
There's people holding up abortion signs everywhere. I guess the people of Florida want you to remember you fucked up on Spring Break.
He tried to carry her to her room after she passed out, but when he picked her up she came back to, saw him, screamed rape and pulled out her vuvuzela app and blasting it like a rape whistle.
Everytime I see a couple on campus walking and holding hands I just want to yell he's gonna lie!
Theres a fat guy wearing a speedo. Someone just got puked on, and didnt even react. Whats happening?
At least he's enough of a gentleman to not make me do the walk of shame dressed as Santa.
He is just a personification of a vodka hangover.
Yes. Sex with questionable women, and made of potatoes.
Fun fact. I am at the police dept. getting served a warrant for unpaid ordinance... and the officer was a one night stand from like 10 years ago.
"I gave a guy a handjob last night, on a dog bed, inside a fireplace. It's going to be a good year."
I'm gonna snort this pill I found on the ground cause that's how classy I am. Watch football and eat Beef jerky. Domesticated at its finest.
he's the only real guy friend I've had who I've never made out with
I'm good. Got my nipples pierced and threw my back out. 🙌
Let's just wait to see what happens before we start making radical plans and starting fires
I just used a coke ridden $20 bill to buy Girl Scout cookies
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