Just soaked up some whiskey with a paper towel and then squeezed it into a cup for consumption. New low.
The mall is playing a fucking country mix of lady marmalade.
welcome to maine.
She looked like Sean Connery with cleft lip. So to answer your question, yes I put it in her butt.
hey boys, thanks for all the pictures of your dick you took with my camera last night...they were really nice to stumble upon while reliving my night in the breakroom today at work
I just saw a guy in the gym riding the bicycle while watching baseball and dipping.
Getting stoned and going to costco. If i'm not back by dawn, you know what to do.
my boss made my mugshot into an 'employee of the month' poster.
Wednesday. Otherwise known, to you at least, as "there are two gay men in my bed" day.
What makeup look will say to the therapist 'I am a smart, well-adjusted young woman'?
I don't know if your celebrity crush has ever asked you for nudes, but it's fucking awesome
Well, that's not my fault. I make decisions all the time when I'm drunk.
that awkward moment when you use blowjob jokes as a segue into coming out as bi
Just got my LSAT score...if you need me I'll be drunk in a ditch somewhere.
I really wish you were home bc youre the only friend I could ask to use an at home waxing kit on my vagina. I need you.
I feel like he doesn't realize we're offering him a threeway with sisters and I don't understand how that's possible.
Maybe we should bring mom next time.
Randomize
