Ask Niel how long his lasts if he plays with it a lot.
he says 15-20 minutes depending on the porn.
no his phone, idiot.
She thought I was gay, so I told her I'd be more comfortable with anal. She agreed.
She got her phone back last night. And the first thing I sent her was a picture of me pooping in a culvers bathroom
Well after last night it's official...I cannot die...it time to use this power for good instead of handle contests
whatever buzz i had immediately ended when i saw her run through a sliding glass door
I'm by the dj to the left. Come get me now this girl is talking about baby names and I dnt even no hers
I can't see you
I'm the only one that's wearing a tarzan outfit get your ass over here you douche
my mom just walked in on me in the shower doing the "ass hair shave" pose.
Mitt romney looks like a fantastic lover (full disclorsure: im 76% vodka right now)
She said we couldnt stop drinking until there were enough bottles to make a fort. so we could have sex in our "bottle castle"
We tried to make ramen in a glass bowl on the stove. They called facilities to pick the glass out of the door
I. Did. In fact. Sprain. My liver. This. Weekend.
You kept asking her which dick pills worked the best. She's a grandmother.
Everyone I slept with in 2016 is getting a Christmas card from me. Because I'm an adult.
I have a vagina. So i automatically win.
How do I word.. " hey, I need you to fuck me really hard and see if you or I can feel my birth control. No worries, this is just an experiment." In a nice way without them feeling used.
Randomize
