i hope the fucking fire crotch burns his mouth
....ANDDD I just became confused during sexting and sent my mother a text describing a "porno-worthy cum shot."
the next time i see a chick with leggings under her jean skirt...i'm gona beat her ass with a fashion magazine...
I want to leave work and go home and eat Five Guys and masturbate
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just single handedly caused ferngully by printing the wrong 900 page document
No one actually likes Tequila. They just accept it as a fact of life. Like hpv.
No no no no no. Not interrested. She looks just like Kim's fat booth picture. Only real.
Half my make-up was stuck to his thigh where I'd fallen asleep after the blowjob.
We have to give a final comment in english, i think i might say "i learned it's a bad idea to make out with people in your classes who have girlfriends."
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Jumped in the kebab van and said he was Ultimate MasterChef. Incurred wrath of six angry Turks. I got free chips.
Packing a mid day bowl in the Sonic parking lot. Have I gone too stoner?
I am making up for a 7 year dry spell so I get a pass and I don't always care if there is a second date. It is like college but with more money and condoms.
Our first time hooking up was on New Years and we've managed to hook up every holiday since, I'm hoping this lasts until 2016 just to fulfill my American Holiday sex fantasy I never knew I had
I'm worried my dog collar isn't going to come in time. I might be trying on dog collars at PetSmart next week. That could get awkward.
He's not put together enough to have that big of a dick
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