So for his birthday I'm planning on doing what stripper did when she put the matches on her nipples..lights them n makes him blow them out..SEE I AM dating material.
Going back to my hometown to drink absinthe with highschool boys. Remind me to evaluate this decision tomorrow.
Dude wtf I'm sitting behind some girl in class who is creeping on my facebook page. I don't even know who she is..
the liquor store lady asked about three times if I was sure about buying two fifths of everclear. i told her I wanted to be on cops
He did a line, told me my hair looked pretty against the background of the clouds, and then we fucked. Good afternoon
drunken yoga. on the beach. senior week. you have been chosen <3
Damn, it's been so long since I had sex I could use the cobwebs from my vagina to decorate for Halloween.
For a limited time only, free special muffin with the referral of a loyal dro customer! Have it for breakfast and be happy off your ass all day! Guaranteed! New member must buy at least an eighth. Oh and O's are on sale for 280.
You. Win. At. Life.
Accidentally gagged on my toothbrush and puked up a Walgreen's cheeseburger. 1) I am not going to be on top of my game tonight. 2) Since when do I have a gag reflex? 3) Walgreen's cheeseburgers are awesome.
I just masturbated to a Jock Jams cd. What have you done today?
I feel like I'm going to get the reputation of being the girl who brings her dog with her to all her random hookups.
We're following a guy carrying a door for beer pong at his place..join us when you are deemed sober enough to leave the hospital.
I JUST WOKE UP WITH MY UBER DRIVER
I want a dick in my left hand and a Crunch Wrap Supreme in my right hand.
My life is pants optional.
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