What started out as a threesome has become me sitting here watching them have sex... Can I get a ride home?
i guess you could say your face is two degrees of separation from my balls
Update. It gets worse. A) he's done viagra and B) he wears socks at all times.
I love her so much that if I could have sex with her I wouldn't cuz my dick would feel out of place in such a perfect body/vagina
I asked about his 3 inch scar on his chest. It's from when he had to castrate a bull on the estancia. Apparently this is how good bull meat is made.
remember last night when you and I took turns yelling THIS IS HUGE in my dogs faces? I love wine night.
I ate a pepperoni off of someone's floor last night. We need to talk.
Uhm; your sign says 'Welcome to KFC' and for some reason I can't seem to open the door.
Using the only finger i can move, i calculated body mass, intake and time. It's mathematically impossible for me to still have this hangover at 9pm. I passed out at 8pm last night. Fuck vodka.
Right now, there's some ten year old kid getting ready to go outside and play basketball. He will soon find out his basketball hoop was no match for my car.
Swish.
he just fluffed my hair and told me I had to dance with him because we were both gingers.
Fly, little bird! Repopulate the ginger race!
Thank you. I woke up with a beard hair in my mouth. Super classy.
To show us how offended you were you took off the right foot of your pterodactyl suit and proceeded to attack us with it.
Santa tracker drinking game, you in or what?
After returning from the hospital with lock-jaw from getting tackle at the game. Some naked chick busted out of his room and hit him with a devastating haymaker to the jaw because he wouldn't have sex
Randomize
