You're the host. Of course you wear the diaper. It's like wearing the pants.
we tried to steer you away from them but you just kept yelling 'i need dick' and going back. sorry.
I just sent a friend request to someone saying that i was the girl he shared a fifth of jager with last week. Thats something special. He better accept.
the boat had a sign not to jump off the roof of it, which gave us the idea to jump off the roof of it
Best part of being a cop: When I showed up at Thanksgiving with stitches in my head I could tell them I was "protecting and serving" not "drinking and falling down". Career validated.
She's like a connoisseur of porn. Her collection has things in it I never even knew existed. She even has an Italian batman porno. Where has she been all my life?
I'm not really made for random hookups.. i'm like a swan.. i don't wanna have random swan sex. i just wanna have one swan hubby and fly around the world together and eat bread that people throw at us..
ahhhh just came to creep and you're not there AND your thong you were wearing last night is on the floor..someone has some explaining to do
I'm in the middle no shirt white shorts humping the white dustbuster next to the guy shooting off the tazer infront of the two guys humping on the bicycle
you made a mix containing mostly whiskey. then you took a sip, gagged and yelled "perfect!"
What do you expect from her? Do you remember that creepy man she dated who saturated a pillowcase in his musky cologne and mailed it to her and she still slept with him.
He pulled out a red and green condom and then started humming "Here Comes Santa Claus." Happy holidays indeed.
I haven't included my nuts in a shave since the Shaq/kobe Lakers era. I gave my self the ol full court press in order to change the tempo.
If I die at work, I want you to have my mustache collection
Turns out that fresh outta jail dick is quite something.
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