I just saw a girl play flip cup with only her tongue
I'm in love
I seriously love my fucking boobs. They are so boobs.
only if we run a train.
done.
And by that I mean I told her the plot of the first batman movie as my life and it took her like 20 minutes to figure it out
No one even knew you were hurt until we saw the multiple cuts to prove it, and when we asked what happened all you could say was "I fell out"
She made a roadhead CD. Can I marry her?
Did you like my voicemail? Sounded like I was being murdered, right?
By a pack of ravenous dildos
I want a calm night. Not one where I wake up to you topless and bloody.
I just realized I donated our bong to goodwill.. RIP Kimbo Slice
You suck, She hit so hard.
I think my AA sponsor just booty called me.
There's always a silver lining when massive voluptuous tits are involved
Best case scenario you died and I melt into poo
Also, do you have any insight as to WHY I have a note saved from the 17th of June that reads *clears throat*, "you got that swanky blues libido"
I just ate part of my sock, this has got to stop.
I woke up and couldn't find her. She had somehow managed to get into the closet and lock herself in. She was crying for her boyfriend. Thirsty Thursday at its finest
Randomize
