whoa...plan B gets you drunker quicker.
I even resorted to pole dancing with the street sign. I have an extra $20 now because I think people were paying me to leave.
You seriously looked at the house acorss the street and implied that you thought they had nice Easters.
My male hookup buddy is gonna meet my female hookup buddy, let the awkward hookup games begin!
i should not be allowed to orgasm that much in one day.
I HAVE A PRESENT FOR YOU AND ITS NOT MY VAGINA
im suggesting it to him. and by suggesting i mean we're not having sex again unless im wearing high heels
Nope not happening. When I close my eyes the floor moves. I'm going to enjoy this free roller coaster.
And I'm bringing my coffee cup of wine.
It's dollar drink night and I have my honors society initiation tomorrow. Somehow I think this will not end well.
I don't care. She's the only girl to make me feel like my face is melting when she blows me.
Things that happen while I poop: I start dating someone
Totally writing my paper on the toilet. Makes me miss you.
Dude, he came to our house with a beer can in his hand dressed up in a chicken suit screaming, "free eggs!" then threw up and passed out in the front yard.
I don't wanna SLEEP with him, I want to start bar fights with him. There's a difference.
Randomize
