nut hugger
What's proper 1 nite stand etiquette?
Say hi to his dad and make him some breakfast.
Today's life lesson: fat girls should not wear tight miniskirts and vinyl leggings. This Forever 21 salesgirl is a hot mess.
Smoked a bowl on a rollercoaster. Literally ON. Beat that.
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He somehow managed to accomplish karate kicking a door down, cockblocking my friend in the room, and writing "tits" all over the house with a blue sharpie.
What did he say? I couldn't hear him over the sound of how awesome his beard is.
ders ninda duuude pooring goden shots ov glory. I see em an i dont but there hear.
are you attempting voice recognition while drunk again?
by the way whatever wisdom you imparted upon me last night was lost to whatever i smoked out of a beer can.
Well, that was my first dog walk of shame. Nothing says "I've got my life together" like an inside out shirt and a baggie full of dog shit.
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He told me he felt like he was just pistol-whipped by Testicle Man.
I was told to keep my leg elevated. I assume it means to keep my legs on the air, it's like I was prescribed to be slutty
We were 6 minutes into the movie before we realized the whole movie was spoken in Italian. That level of stupidly-ripped
PLEASE AT LEAST MEOW SO I KNOW YOU AREN'T DEAD
I guess what I'm trying to get to is that my dog sneezed on my dick earlier and its really taken the joy out of my evening.
I would definitely ride that dick into the sunset if nuggets are involved
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