i'm pretty sure the only people calling it "sexting" are ones who don't actually do it
Of course she said it wasn't that good, I don't bring my A game to pity fuck the thrice divorced girl from work
I have pictures of you taking tequila shots off the front of the police car when the cop wasn't looking.
I fake pass out to avoid hookups sometimes. Last night I fake slept on my bathroom floor for like 2 hours before the guy left.
That big chick who gave you the handly polished off one of the walls to the ginger bread house right before she came outside. FYI
She was giving me that "well this is awkward since you drunkedly tried to hook up with me" look.
I tried to lock you in the bathroom stall because you were too drunk. But you escaped from underneath, I gave up
I rammed pretzels and Jell-O shots down the throats of those I loved.
Because making bad decisions is what makes our house great and I don't plan on changing that anytime soon.
We discussed how many times we've passed out during sex. The answers may shock you.
Nothing like putting a Percocet up your nose because you spent your night drinking heavily and can't drink water to make you heavily reconsider your life choices
He and I didn't so much date, as watch cartoons and go down on each other.
I'm so glad you haven't fallen off any more yachts
death, taxes, and me drunk texting you are 3 certainties in life
It’s amazing such a big dick belongs to such a boring guy
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