We succumbed to passion, and then he had to go meet his girlfriend. End of story.
sounds like you fell off the wagon.
fuck falling off. at this point, the wagon is a dot on the horizon.
it's been like two and a half months. And I swear, I keep seeing walking dicks. I think I'm going crazy cause of lack of sex..
duuuude the clock in this car says its 85 past 19.
dear god, who put you in a cab?
I'm going to buy her a puppy, let her fall in love with it, then kill it in front of her. Does that answer how I feel about her?
I'm going to empty my bank account and roll around in the cash. Want to join?
I'm almost too hungover to function. Got into the wrong car by mistake. there was a rotweiler in it. Thank god he was more confused than i was for a minute.
Best case scenario: sex with hot bartender \nWorst case scenario: no sex and punched by tattooed guy that may or may not be said bartenders boyfriend.
IM WEARING A FLAG
So that's a no to the clothes then
FLAG
I still don't know why she was so offended when I emerged from the bathroom and told her my balls were now clean.
I'm on the porch day drinking and the neighbor is in his yard screaming about his amazing sandwiches, maybe we should move.
Every time I download Tinder again, I hate myself a little more.
I also woke up in a bed soaked of pee and drunkenly lectured him on the dangers of chewing tobacco... weird night
i have too much dick at my disposal? i should make them fight. best dick pic gets laid
I'm telling you, I 'm beginning to think that my vagina is magical.
Randomize
