why is jon gosselin on the news 24/7 for dating some new lady?? how bout I get on msnbc for not getting laid since forever ago
I could be a Disney star with the amount of nude photos of mine that get leaked.
Still drunk and leading the team through the 9am sales meeting. I'm pretty sure this is why there aren't more 26year-olds in management.
i just turned the eviction notice into a beer pong list
i wish i could google "things to eat in my fridge" so i wouldnt have to go downstairs and be disappointed
It all boils down to, who else do we know that is willing to buy our friendship?
College is the ONLY place where you can pass off morning sickness as being hungover. I'm currently pouring beer in a spray bottle so I can spray it on myself and smell drunk.
Yeah. Rock bottom was him passing out and saying "are you putting a condom on me?" and me covering his mouth and saying shhhhh
Toilet is so comfy. Serious question/why does weed make every surface feel like bed?
I can only take thier stupid "I think beauty school is for me" routine so long until I have to bitch slap them with some knowledge
i love you man. i hope we fuck some serious shit up this summer.
I puked walking onto the plane. How do you think my post-Birthday hangover went?
Hey I came back and we made joints with the breathalyzers the cops left last night.
Dude, I wish I could live my entire life blacked out.
you had me at "meet me in the bathroom"
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