What would a frattoo be? Maybe like the Chinese symbol for Keystone Light.
My cat gives me a boner
i've never been more proud of someone than i was when he told me he got his first blowjob at age 13...from two chicks
You slow danced with your carpet steamer last night.
when she was 9 she got kicked out of our 4-H camp dance for pole dancing on the spirit stick
the trail of clothing leading from the bed to the door was in the exact order i needed to put them on. underwear near the bed shoes by the door.
how was it?
he was petting the bushes because they were "napkins"
Except there is my pee all over the walls now
Tonight, I'll be cleaning. And by cleaning, I mean drinking booze and spraying everything with Febreze.
Fell twice in five points. on my face. literally during a cross walk. The cars just went around me. 21st birthday memories right there
I need to see you idiots before I go back to school. But we shouldn't snort Crown Royal this time.
I thought I would be a proper lady and put my spare panties in a ziplock
And the sexual frustration is like I'm wearing a damn horcrux
I can't wait to shower all this regret off of me
We told the cop that we were playing soccer, in flip flops, and 2:30 in the morning. It was raining and i had board shorts on. He bought it, lets go get drunk
Randomize
