I dont like him- his parents were home and he hid me in his closet like anne frank
Oh my god. I just envisioned myself eating panda meat. I need to get out of this class.
Everything we own is covered in grass and KY
i wonder what thom yorke's orgasms sound like
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You act like I'm friends with her or something. I only screw her boyfriend!
Oh yeah.
What time did you start drinking?
Maybe.
Maybe isn't a time...
Also while I am being the bigger person I plan on bringing over something strong smelling and/or alcoholic to torture the poor hungover bastard
you were passed out so I asked you what my name was and you opened your eyes and yelled "ricotta cheese"
no way
that's when i decided you were gonna be okay
Nothing brings people closer than bonding over tequila shots and running from campus security.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If you don't let me come over I'm gonna call you on speaker and you have to listen to her scream and moan too
Sometimes you just have to have sex for a Netflix password.
I need a drink and a shade of lipstick that will put the fear of God in a man's heart.
MY LIFE IS HARD OK. I HAVE TO WAKE UP AT LIKE 10 OR 11 AFTER SMOKIG POT AND PLAYING FALLOUT UNTIL 3
HEY I WILL KIDNAP THE FUCK OUT OF YOUR PET GOAT
Put on my pants to go to work and discovered they had melted.
Randomize