Andrew is trying to convince me that i took your virginity. Please tell me he is lying.
define virginity.
Apparently I climbed into a dryer last night and refused to leave... There are pictures to prove it
Speaking of morons, I just found half a Subway sandwich in the bathroom drawer You or your brother?
please come over and have sex with me so we can talk about prom and kill 2 birds with one condom
Survival tip #3: while you're hooking up with him, don't say he reminds you of his brother
That is NOT what pussyfooting around means. Try that again with your toe and I break it off.
im in the post action - pre consequence stage.
I'm so hung over that I'm pretty sure I can feel the earth's rotations when I close my eyes.
of fours songebofy did dknt stop believing
how legible are my texts
I hope April is a better month for dicks. March has been very disappointing.
Like I said, all hypothetical...unless, of course, you'd be into that. My heart may skip a beat.
Speaking of dignity, who all saw me....
My boss asked me to pass over one of my business cards and instead I had condoms fall out of my wallet, how’s your day going??
I'll start working on my manners when you stop using please and thank you in the bedroom.
this strobe light makes my body turn on and off
Randomize
