How the fuck did you go into work today? You are a better man than I. I couldn't even show up to being unemployed on time.
I'm pretty sure his head is too big to fit between my legs. Worthless.
Maybe she gives good head
A girl who still calls a dick a "wiener"cannot possibly give good head
I am at the gas station and there is a whole amish family here I'm not sure why the amish need gas but I think its worth investigating
You should have seen her outfit yesterday. It was like pretty woman before Richard Gere gave her money to buy a new outfit.
i realized our last day of finals is on cinco de mayo....it's god's way of saying drink ridiculous amounts of tequila and wear sombreros
we may have ended up at a gay bar on accident. we're gonna work this to get free drinks.
Not only was there cake on the wall but someone shoved cake and meat in a cup and put it in the fridge.
As i looked at his penis, it stared back into my soul. No more drinking games.
I can't even tell you how many rave sticks I tore apart with my teeth last night.
I wish there was an emoji to express our Eskimo Brothership
Yes. Amanda is the only option and I want cake so I can sacrifice my vagina.
No shame December is a go.
Tell them to carpool to pride, have a 3way, and if one says 'no thanks' just tell em it's not gay if it happened in a 3way!
Blood work from physical was all good, apparently heavy alcohol use agrees with me
May he have a McRib induced stroke and lose the feeling in his tastebuds.
Randomize
