Looks like an M-80 went off in a lb. of pastrami
I told him I'm not paying rent anymore because he's seen my boobs.
i just heard the ice cream truck outside while mid-masturbation. i stopped and considered running outside to buy one.
did he really ask u insert a warm banna in ur anal?
Sam from lord of the rings is 10 yards away from me, i am creaming myself.
Vibrator and massage oils got stopped at security. Super.
my cabbie only has one arm...this can't be safe
She's "scared" of blowjobs, so she just played with it for a while.
my vagina has been out of service for wayy too long... this semester needs to start like right now
I told him that his face would look perfect between my legs. One of my most successful strategies yet.
You need to let him know my only agenda is coke and sadness.
Get in your clown car, pick up everyone you know, and head to the park. drunk Sledding grand prix tonight. winner takes home the leftover beer
Go makeout with Mickey Mouse so we can get FastPass tickets
Stop confusing me with every girl you know that doesn't like sex.
You have the perkiest tits in all of North America. You're fine.
Randomize
