I use a guy for sex and get three minutes out of him. go figure
I just love slightly exposed cleavage. Not too much to be whory but just enough to say "your kids will never go hungry"
I think thats the most anyones ever pregamed for rollerskating
still wasted. at home depot . just threw up in one of the demo showers. not okay.
Tonight is one of those "I'm wearing a shirt as a dress" nights because I need to get laid.
When are you comin back?
probably mid next week, depending on when i finish my remaining half gallons
There is a mosh pit in our kitchen. You better hurry.
They fucked on my pong table last St. Patty's and broke it. I feel like I should be hiding my new one. Would hate for a tradition to form.
Random memory from the wedding, the bartender showed us how to open the windows and piss out of them.
i wish i just like had a pee bag attached to me and i could just go whenever i want wherever i want
There are no female cereal mascots. I just realized that in my drunken state... So sexist...
He literally wrote out a schedule. On it, there's a taco break, and a spot where I start crying.
Easter was a success. We had an egg hunt and hid weed and conforms inside them. Cooked a ham, made some jello, got wasted. THIS is adulthood?!
Perfect. I'll put on my party clothes and write emergency numbers on my arm
I dropped my pants and she just stared until she asked how is that even possible? Best night ever lmao
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