i woke up with socks on this morning
so?
i didnt wear socks last night
When we talk. Remind me of these topics, photoshop, my bday, threesomes, and cherekee indians. I swear these are real topics...
New topics to add when we talk, sweden, boxing, and the band journey
Yeah. I woke up naked in his bed this morning and remember saying "Get a condom cuz I can't afford an abortion right now" last night. He didn't run. He's a keeper
I just accidently sent my poop smells like vodka to 27 people in my phone book
im pretty sure vibrators are the best invention since dinosaur chicken nuggets
Adams eating in the shower, he says it's one of his favorite places to eat. Btw it's milanos he's eating, he says he loves italy too.
I am trapped in a bar with french tattooed drug dealers who also blow glass art. Just in case this is bad, know what happened.
Their was just 7 people standing outside eating a costco chicken, definitley at the right party
You could breast feed yourself wine!! This shit is genius!
I woke up and they were watching power rangers in japanese so I just found my bra and left
Apparently I taped knives to my hands and made everyone call me wolverine
Below this exterior of ice is a layer of cum. Followed by a pool of gin. More cum. Then, finally a heart.
I kid you not. He let me in into his house, showed me the putt putt in his backyard. Offered to play me.
I'm not sure what happened last night but my dog has a red cup taped to his back with a little beer and a ping pong ball in it..
We invented a new game.
I'm classy like audry Hepburn. Chugging wine out of the bottle on the way to the club. Shed do that. I know she would.
Randomize
