it doesn't get any better than taco bell and soft core porn
There are traffic cones in the living room. One of them is yours.
9 am. shotgunning while conditioning my hair. i love college football season.
talking dirty on facebook chat is the new phone sex.
i think i scared a bird with my dick
Sorry I was drunk and left blood all over your back seat I was pretending to be in private Rayan and used your thong as a bandage
Overall win. We all know who got to sleep on the concrete outside of Denny's with you.
I told him he was a man of science and that he should conduct experiments on my tits to see how they stay up. I need you to hold onto my larynx when I'm drunk.
I just watched my mom get dick on Skype.
That d should have definitely been an s.
I'm gonna play this game called Conquer the Dicks. I think it is self explanatory.
we should start a freak-out-the-cashier-contest. I just bought JerseyShore Season2, red high heels, and nipple soothing pads
he's drunk and referred to his shoes as foot condoms
Good, but still not as good as the guy I banged in the ball crawl
Fuck your fuckin pumpkin spice. You and your subtle differences frighten and disgust me.
You don't know happiness until you've got to smoke weed inside taco bell and then eat all you want for free
Randomize
