just passed a tour group on my way home. the guide actually said: 'and THAT kids is whats known as the walk of shame'
the people going to church this morning while i was walking home did not seem as pleased as i was with how many beads i earned last night
I just want a box on franzia all to myself. Just me, my wine, my tears, & my self loathing.
at roughly 3:30am you called me saying you were gonna start a big game of strip twister in politics class and i was your partner.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There was a punch bowl full of straight vodka. Glass bowl, ladle, vodka, and no punch at all. It was something of a rough night
You're cordially invited to the love nest for alcoholic and aquatic adventures. Also known as an all expense paid trip to my pool, alcohol, and vagina.
Bren left me with a lovely parting gift. Newfouund alcoholism. I'm on the kitchen floor, hugging a bottle of vodka. It's my only friend now.
Do you think if you have sex with a girl twin, her twin brother feels it to? Woke up at her house and they both have a look of disappointment on their faces.
well I already know I'm going to hell, at this point it's really go big or go home
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's not really the holidays until I raid the medicine cabinet. Happy hydrocodone to me
And a merry methadone to all
Just a suggestion, don't apricot scrub your vagina.
Damn Instagram explore page. I am six months in to some girl I don't even know.
Did I tell you he put a lobster carcass on his dick?
Got a $290 noise violation last night for shouting "THE KING OF THE NORTH" til 2 am
I just had all of the sex. All of it.
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