cant go down on her man, her vagoo reminds me of a face hugger from aliens
i'm in his phone as sushi coochie
Sometimes I kiss girls just to make them shut up.
so the plumber came, he found condoms, feathers and glitter in the pipes.
I woke up this morning peeing out bubbles . I smell like baby wash . What the hell happened .
We broke the shower door. Completely off. His roommates were not happy but I sure was
We shall study the pictures later and see if his penis is worth my time.
Bitch, I been tryna reach you all day to talk to you about these Dorito tacos.
I bet George Washington got SERIOUS head back in his hay day.
How do I discreetly dispose of sex toy packaging that is recyclable? What to do...what to do?
We found Kyle. He was next door yelling at the elderly couple to let him continue his golf game. No more afternoon drinking for him.
I told her I wanted to use him as a chew toy while simultaneously licking his face.
Did she tell him? And if so, was he cool with it? If yes, date him, date the fuck outta him.
Someone stole a lamp last night.
Everytime after he came, he'd laugh uncontrolably for ten mintutes. He was sober..
I sent him nudes while he is at work because I am an evil human being.
Randomize
