I'll just stay a virgin forever then
You still have to go anyway
Then I guess I'll have to start sleeping around
just walked by a lingerie store, the sign out front, "Specials for Father's Day", in no way is that just not wrong.
At a Jewish lesbian wedding. I stick out like a sore, uncircumcised penis.
A shower wasnt enough to wash off the shame but at least it took care off the blood.
I was making out with him, and then his friend randomly took off my pants and started going down on me. My first semi-threesome was a success.
PLEASE. I won't throw up on the floor this time. Or fuck in the bathroom. Or dance on the pool table. So PLEASE.
Just to be clear, the only reason you're allowed to scream "COCKTAIL SERVANT" at bartenders is because you have nice tits
Got home to the hotel 3hrs ago per texts sent not in english to not a full phone number
I'm running on jager fumes right now. It's like I put diesel in a prius and said fuck it.
That's what he gets for shittin at the strip club. Who does that??
For a pair of gay men you destroy a lot of vagina.
I'm out of prison. Wanna start a band?
Is that a question you really want to ask or do you just want to tell you that I can't walk without feeling like my legs are collapsing underneath me
I spilled wine on my pillowcase and I figure it's basically my lifeblood so I'm just leaving it
I just need some of your time and all of your body.
Randomize
