we are all sexual creatures
yea maybe. but you're not. you're not getting any.
White Russians with skim milk. Fuck I'm healthy.
as nice as a boyfriend sounds, a relationship would require morals and self-restraint - both fields in which i lack.
momma always taught us never to change for a boy..
There's 12 honey baked hams in my fridge. I vaguely recalled you organizing a "Midnight Ham Run."
I tried really hard to get you laid last night. And by that I mean I asked a bunch of dudes if they were top or bottom.
It's never too late to be topless.
Single person behavior: I wanted a cookie but was too lazy to make or go buy any, so I let cookie dough ice cream melt and ate all the chunks. Pantsless.
There are so many Jimmy John's employees here
Where are you?
Jimmy John's.
we should look into getting a golf cart for the weekend. i have a feeling legs wont be a sufficient source of transportation.
IT'S LIKE SHE TAKES SECRET KUNG FU CUNT LESSONS AND THEN BRUCE LEES ALL OVER EVERYONE.
We have started to decorate penises.
He lit a shoe on fire and tried putting it out by peeing on it
You were wearing a sequin mini, with Tevas. And you still got laid.
In case you're wondering... Yes walmart will judge you for buying vodka and pickles at 645am.
I brought coffee but not enough for the naked guy on your porch
Randomize
