guys don't fucking realize that the only place girl like their faces jizzed on is in PORN, and that "squirting" is piss. JUST FUCKING PISS.
Haha, bad night?
Told a girl i wanted to feel her bellybutton from the inside... I need to learn how to flirt
They should make Jack Daniels chap stick
so my dad walked in on us having sex
lulz really? why?
lets just say he wont be answering to 'daddy' for a loooooong time
I just criticized a porno's use of editing. Film school is ruining me.
college stoner meal of the day: microwaved nutrigrain bars
What vodka is american?
Skyy. I already looked it up for 4th of july.
I cNt phones. tingles in my fingles. jingles
I have to take a quiz before midnight. Trying to decided if its a better idea to take it now when I'm stoned or later when I'm drunk.
Gotta get dat. Gotta get dat. Gotta get dat dat dat dat dat ~uterus contraction~
You're never gonna guess who's blood is on my shirt
Why do I feel like I really don't want to hear the end of this...
I just got CPR certified, don't make me need these skills so soon
Sean just lit a cig with his taser..... I am in awe
Is it too much to ask for 10 minutes of privacy while I masturbate?
Last night I was the DD and was trying to drop off some chick I didn't know at her place. The closest thing to an address I got was "where the goldfish go."
Randomize
