the nicest thing hes ever said to me is give me head.......please
LETS GO REDSKINS!
Quit drinking and watching your DVR, it's wednesday.
My main thought on the Olympics: I need LESS cowbell.
Just bought all my wine for the weekend with a check at 11am. I'm almost judging myself.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He stopped in the middle of us having sex and asked "is today Monday?" then went even faster
Wait..I think something else did happen last night my vagina is too pleased for this level of hangover..
That UFC fighter fucked me so hard I have what can only be described as a "cuntcussion"
The point remains that this is the setup for some great stories
Or terrible, horrifying, traumatic experiences
great clearly means different things to us
he said we should drink responsibly and we all just kinda sat there laughing at him
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Not going to lie: not even the fact I'm wearing men's cargo pants can hide the fact I have an awesome ass.
The annual Father's Day Wake and Bake has been canceled due to lack of hustle.
Had to walk of shame past Westminster Abbey this morning. Pretty sure a Japanese tourist took a photo of me.
Tequila is never to blame. We all make good choices under tequila
Talked a police officer into driving us the 1/2 mile home from the bars because we didn't want to walk. I never knew the back of cop Cars had plastic seats.
Its because she suspects I'm a frequent drug user, which I am, but I am going to make her feel like she is crazy for believing it.
Randomize