i already hear my dad disowning me
I realize now. I should have just made out with everyone and anyone when I had the chance.
You were peeing on yourself thinking it was the sprinkler in your yard
And the best part is that she's coming home to find that I completely shaved her dog.
i also performed surgery on a chicken burrito from what i can tell from my scissors
just an fyi, false alarm on the whole ghonnorea thing. you're safe.
Look at my eyebrows in this pic! We deffo need to go back to that waxing place.
You have a cock in one hand and a shot in the other. Your eyebrows are not the topic in need of discussion.
i don't know what part of 'duct tape bikini waxes' seemed even a little okay in our drunk minds, but i'm never drinking with your sister again
We need to step up our tailgating...they're here drinking out of a prosthetic leg
just woke up on a lounge chair wearing a durag and holding burrito wrappers in my hands
are you putting in a lot of effort today like appearance wise
I am taking my rightful place as emperor of the undead appearance wise
Man, that hitchhiker cursed me.
In the name of friendship, I’m going to kick your children into the ocean.
Interesting. All i can really say is humanoid shaped doritos bags melting very slowly
I woke up this morning to pee and six dollar bills fell out of my underwear. I guess that lap dance just bought me lunch.
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