There's a technique?! I just slide my tongue around
Someone should tell Glenda that I only hang with her because she makes me look prettier.
he called to tell me the scratches were still on his back. this was in the summer.. still the best hookup
After she came with my hands around her neck, she sat there for a minute and gave me the scuba diving sign for a-ok.
Awkward moment #23: reasuring mom that the bf and I aren't having sex as seamen is running down my leg...
Most eventful shower ever. Jacked off, peed and puked in there.
She set an alarm on my phone for her birthday. Place: Her bed.
True that.. I am going to ride a gold plated unicorn across a field of cocaine and coach purses when I graduate.
That was beautiful.
Welp, I can cross "making out with a guy in a dress" off my bucket list...
He knocked me in the face with the phone during my light show. Didn't even feel it. Ecstasy is amazing
I don't know which I need first...a shower or a confessional.
I came home braless and wearing a tail....
I like being woken up by phone calls of you sabotaging marriages
The most awkward thing in the morning is seeing your teacher's dick right before you go to his class.
Drinking at 10 in the morning and swimming might not be the best idea I've ever had but it beats working
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