listen. just hotwire a car, take off the license plate, make up a new one on a sheet of paper and go the speed limit. i do it like, at least 3x a week.
New beer pong partner names "Bus Boys" ... We clear tables
i have one hour to talk myself into enjoying giving him a blow job when i get home
Are you asking me on a date where we get shithoused and do some fingerpainting?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Don't make fun of the drunk girl eating bread out of her pockets. I've been that girl.
Some girl just showed me her stretch marks
You need to get out of tn
honestly i just want a cigarette and someone to go down on me... are you interested in helping with either of those
Would you be mad if I just used the argument "I'm allowed to say that, my best friend is a lesbian"?
Never. I'm proud to help you win arguments.
If it makes you feel any better, I had my finger up some guy's butt today... Dominatrix training, ya know...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Somehow I ended up in a different costume dancing with some tree of a guy in the basement bathroom, what did you give me?
I had to bail out of the tour de Franzia because I have class Saturday morning. Grad school is ruining my life
I'm at a Tim Horton's and two girls just came in handcuffed to eachother
did you call me last night and say you were being kidnapped?
Dude. So. Much. Sex. Find a girl in her 30s. Now.
I miss the pre Covid days when we could meet men in bars. Hitting on guys in the grocery store is just depressing
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