We drank from noon till 5 am, there was adderall and nice jews involved it was just crazy
i forgot beer had calories. that would explain alot.
thanks for texting me "so many asians" at 1am...
there were a lot.
if you really think there are plastic pots safe for the stove i fear for your future landlords.
So my ex just cheated on her current bf w/me and now there's a car coming to take me to Vegas... Is this really my Thursday night?
I hate you.
I'm trying to think of how to explain to the dentist tomorrow that I think I pulled my jaw muscle eating pizza while drunk.
I have to overdose on valtrex I had a rough weekend.
There comes a time where you just have to sit back and watch the drunken idiots pee on each other
So topless strobe light beer pong turned into me rugby tackling a bitch to the ground.my tits will never forgive me for sacrificing their majesticness for responsibility
He said the last thing he remembered thinking was: 'Why is this vagina spinning?' Too drunk sex is no ones friend.
Crappy Mother's Day to you! Those of us who don't have children fill the void with hot sex, sleeping in, more sex, leisurely suntanning, foreign travel, overseas sex, paying cash for sports cars, watching TV, having sex on the floor in front of TV porn, lounging around the house, or whatever the hell we want.
she just nodded and said "yeah, I'd fuck him for a reese's peanut butter cup". it's so nice to know I'm not the biggest whore living here
You don't know how small your school is until you know everyone in the ER on a Friday night.
Is it bad form to puke out of a dorm window to avoid looking bad in front of the people in your room?
How about from a sixth floor window?
You guys do the cocaine and I'll do the dishes.
Randomize
