ill find time for any girl whos not afraid to grab my junk in front of 100 people
I'm hiding behind a bush in mens clothing next to a ducks crossing sign. There are joggers. Please hurry.
I'm sitting in class drinking a forty out of a paper bag. No ones said anything yet. I think my professor is trying to ignore me. Better start yelling louder.
i'm surprised you didn't wake up. like i literally came when he was fingering me as i was spooning with you and all you did was mumble "that's a good idea, mom" and pull the sheets away from me.
And the funny thing is when I went to the kitchen this morning, all 4 pizzas were still there in their boxes, untouched. My question to you is: what were we eating last night?
He was trying to hotbox the banana suit. Of course we traded him for vodka.
I may be bringing home two guys tonight. I'f they won't go for a double-team you can have the lanky one.
I want your cock.
All we are is dust in the wiiiiiiinnnnnnnnnnd
Let's drink lean at the 5 seconds of summer concert. Give the teens a glimpse into their future as dysfunctional adults holding desperately onto their youth. You in?
That jawline could fucking have its way with me.
If my drunken penis pic is ever to be forgiven id like to start over with all that
I'll explain later but I just had to legally commit to abstinence for the next 4 months
in your professional opinion, what's the most elegant way of saying "sorry I spent all night flirting with you, I thought you were gay" ?
I have a cheeseburger in my purse and im going to fill her prescription for narcotics. Who thought i was responsible enough to sign her discharge papers?
I'm sitting in the hospital with him while he's still half drunk with a busted leg because he thought he could do parkour off a rock
Randomize
