I asked a girl to buy her a drink, she had I have a boyfriend, so I said, well i have a goldfish, she said what? I replied, oh I'm sorry I thought we were talking about shit that doesnt matter.
Slut skills are useful in every country.
in the morning i found her name, number and address on one of the empty pizza boxes. also said "ps. if you find my shoes please mail to me."
I'm looking at pot farms on google earth. Google should be proud I found a real purpose for it to serve.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He said he got a lot of action last night. I asked how much? And he said he got to see down her shirt. Freshmen never cease to amaze me.
There is nothing like getting stoned and spying on people with binoculars
They wouldn't let me go to sleep at the police station while I was waiting to bail u out. YOU OWE ME
Like lay upon bear skin rugs, drink brandy and reminisce of the yesteryear's before a majestic fire place? Because those are my plans.
P.s. remind me to tell you about the porno that Paul envisioned starring you. It's wizard of oz themed.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I always congratulate people on their vaginal emancipation.
I am one Jewel song away from suicide watch
He just remixed a spongebob song with 2 chainz..... Clearly I love him
My head is pounding and I need an ice pack for my vag. Successful friendsgiving!
You told him he looked like Jesus and that you wanted to fuck his face, I'd say your blind date went well
Responsible things to do when you're too hungover to get out of bed: Breast self exam.
Randomize