I'm good, just tired from chardonnay and giving hand jobs.
so he came on my face and then proceeded to say "that was just how i imagined it would happen"
where do you find these guys?
Just walked by a guy on campus YELLING 'Im still hammered'
I'm not sure what's more surprising, the fact that she said I reminded her of Danny Devito, or the fact that it got me laid.
his dick makes me think maybe a monogamous relationship forever is possible.
I hope you realize, I'm counting on you as my wingman next semester. It's your turn to advertise another man's penis. I did my tour all freshman year.
He threw me a bud light and when I opened it he smacked it out of my hand because "Dave giveth, and Dave taketh away". WTF
I've actually, minus lsat night have actually changed my drinking habits
Random Survey Question: If things start getting serious with this cop, do I have to stop doing coke?
I got tossed from adult league soccer for telling a 55 year old I'd break his hip. I'm a productive member of society
He awkwardly handed me plan b on Pickens Street... it was like a sketchy drug deal.
Sorry that I was such a monster last night. It was the drugs, I promise.
I'm having leftover pizza for breakfast. I'm clearly not the greatest at this adult thing.
I just remembered that the guy I slept with last night has "USDA PRIME" tattooed on his ass
Omfg I just White Claw shamed a Girl Scout Cookie mom and I feel SO BAD.
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