11:03 p.m. Whats a lie i you lovn me. Let's cuddle.
So baked. Thought the twigs on the sidewalk were caterpillars with the ability to harden in self defense. Had to pick one up to be sure.
nothing like morning wood sex at 4pm. funemployment ftw
I don't think the cop knew you were on ecstasy until you asked for a back rub.
don't ever tell me how terrible your next walk of shame is until you run into your little brother on his way to class.
In case this wasn't clear when i said being his wingman was "hopeless", his date walked out on him when he poured a beer on his head trying to shotgun it
Well, I looked over and you and him were each making out with a fireman. And then you switched. And you probably spent an hour like that.
And then he posed under the bed and said, "you should draw me like one of your french girls." Why do they keep giving this kid drugs?
I am the sex elephant in the room. Again.
Told my prof I have mono so that he won't judge me when I show up hungover and looking like shit to class every day.
Just skip
Please. i have SOME standards
I took did three shots of fireball and did and handstand. When I stood up some busty slut lead me my the hand down the hall into her dorm room.
But I'm sure your having and "a monumentally better time" repeating the 12th grade
All I know is that at 4 am I was walking down the street in my bra and his shorts and Im pretty sure I passed my grandma on her morning walk.
Lindsey Lohan and I have slept with the same amount of people. The only thing she's now beating me on is rehab trips and teen choice awards, so really I'm the winner.
They put me in room 420 every time and I take bubble baths and smoke in the room and they bring food TO MY BED
Sorry 4 always trying to rope you into my sexual exploits
Randomize
