so i did it. i barked while i was ejaculating. not a word was said by either of us afterwards.
so how much did i say i owed you?
$5 and a new fuck buddy.
He cant even get with danielle. Thats like striking out in t-ball
Your clothes are in washers 2,3 and 4. I arranged by darks, whites, then frat... I'm not even joking
i guess i had fun last thursday night because when i got on the drunk bus this thursday night everyone immediatley started chanting my name and telling me to do a bus flip
whats a bus flip?
idk but apparently i invented it
So many tools at one table, you'd enjoy my italian family
She came in to my room half naked at 3am asking me if I had seen the movie balls deep 7
I'm just gonna be the bigger person here and say I want you inside me
I feel like now would be a good time to apologize for vomiting in your eye
You almost make it sound as if getting an education to further your career is more important than beer and tacos.
I woke up in nothing but a shower cap and your sparkling coke straw snorter thing inbetween my toes. Explain.
He took the bartender's challenge and took a Jello shot with a tarantula frozen inside.
Fuck you for setting me up with the guy from the Nickelback cover band
Payback for not stopping me from fucking the guy in the wookie costume
Yeah. It's just like I have his virginity and he has my shoes and where do we go from here.
after what u told me last night I think we're past the wtf zone and at this point u should just join me in wondering if my barista lover is a gay porn star
you were acting out moves from the wwe, in a dress. then you sceamed "you can't see me" and ran out of the apt.
Randomize
