I woke up, mistook him for my ex, and started screaming. It was all that chest hair. I don't think this relationship is going anywhere.
The paper boy just woke me up in the front yard again.
hey, when you wake up, search yourself on youtube
my sister already found it, were watching it right now. i give it 2 thumbs up.
you will always have a special place in my vag
bad night - i tried for naughty librarian but could only manage to pull off pissed off barrista.
haha it's ok, I asked people. I was like "I'm high and lost" and the dude just said "That's my life. Love it."
Thanks for that golden cinnamony goodness that flowed from your fake tits last night haha
I'm tired of being known as the Great Giver Goddess of the Almighty Pity Bone.
My dry spell starts kindergarten this fall...
They grow up so fast.
If so I'm coming over there. There's no way I'm having "hello, how are you" conversations with my neighbors on acid
dont you DARE use my tequila influenced words against me
I mean I faked it but he could answer my texts
If walking through the neighborhood with a bottle of tequila and margarita mix is postgrad life, I'm okay with it
We found him. He just came running out of the closet with a bruise on his face saying he has been fighting elves in Narnia for a year.
Grabbed the cop's ass and he still arrested Heather instead. Victory is mine!!
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