Duck Duck Cougar?
Btw the nut in my hair goes great with my outfit !!! :(
Yeah, but thats the third time she's peed on me.
she wants me to text her or call her all the time when we are apart...this is not high school...
Just bought two budlight beers with a can of tuna at the bar
He adopted an old drug sniffing dog so that he won't lose his weed around the house anymore. It works.\n
I remember sitting there at the toilet, bleeding everywhere and thinking, "I walked from my bedroom to here. What happened?"
There is a girl on the metro with no shoes and she's using a Crown Royal bag as a purse.
Well, I'm getting my ex-boyfriend to get me a z pack to cure the chlamydia I got from my married fuck buddy so that I can fuck one of my students.
I looked the guy across the room straight in the eyes and said, "If you were any closer to me, we'd be making out right now."
This guy is walking around with a deer head on. Honestly what the fuck
xanax give me strength to not ask where we stand with booty calls
She said she wanted you to slurp her vagina like a spaghetti noodle.
I was alternating between saying "yall need Jesus" and "God bless" the entire night
driving home hungover today was like a life test..it was like the goblet of fire
Randomize
