he asked me to put his condom on because he couldn't see without his glasses
just because you are in college doesnt mean its okay to pregame easter mass.
i just ran into my boss at the liquor store. we didnt exchange words, just nodded in mutual understanding.
What did you wear last night? Because I'm pretty sure there are atleast 4 Facebook statuses about your walk of shame.
there was a trail of blood coming out of one of the bathroom stalls. thought of you
Those mornings you wake up with a Barbie tramp stamp are the mornings that are the that are going to make me miss this place
We just got in a fight with grandma b/c she tried to tell us you didn't go hard.
i need to stop meeting underage girls and letting them into the bar. i mean yea its a surefire way to get laid without having to tell them I'm 26 but i feel like as a bouncer I'm focusing on all the wrong things
My walk of shame was four miles long and I had to stop for a water break. I am the picture of class.
too bad I'd hit a car before I'd hit a bush.
Are we talking about jumping from windows or your willingness to fuck a car instead of a woman?
She has no problem going ass to mouth, but won't eat the pizza crust. I don't get it.
Is there such thing as dick sucking teeth guards?
wow bdsm is so cute
i walked into her house and she introduced me to her family. i dont think she understands the term booty call
He climbed on the counter and announced it was time for something called The Cocktacular and all the girls immediately left. He cockblocked the entire fraternity!
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