the cure to his relationship is in or around my vagina.
I guess she didn't feel like it. There was hair all over it and everything
Dude I'm telling you, conditioner is the best for jerking it in the shower. It feels great and afterwards everything is all smooth
I don't know where my bra went.
Welll you ran into the street, took it off and yelled "I'm a free woman!". And then you threw it at some homeless guy.
You don't even know the meaning of faking an orgasm until you sleep with an uncircumcised ginger.
you inspire me to be a worse person
We listened to Rod Stewart Pandora and slow danced in the shower.
pretty sure that drunk girl we saw climbing the stairs is now DJing this club....
I just saw that blonde chick you wanna bang rolling down the hall wearing a Thor mask..
Wow. We're meant to be..
Just me. You're probably having sex with her right now, so here's a reminder that you should be thinking of me per our agreement.
Either I just got hit on by a 10 year old.girl dressed like a boy or I just got hit on by a midget lesbian. Either way I feel uncomfortable
Such a good question, let's ask the alcohol gods for the answer.
The drunk fake out is her specialty. She'll agree to come with us and two seconds later we check to make sure she's still there and we see her booking it down the hall in the opposite direction.
Ya it was crazy the power went just as she was about orgasm and the vibrator got fried with the power surge
I'm sorry I called your mother a reasonably-priced receptacle.
Randomize
