Update, blind date is cute and fun.
Scratch that, blind date just threw up.
love makes seman taste better
not my fault. i got her to believe he wrote an oasis song. he still managed to find a way to make sure no girl ever gets near his penis.
$3 wine plus diet sprite does not make good champagne.
does taste better than andre tho
Haha im sorry. Its just financially responsiable to bang him instead of you right now.
Dude..her orgasm sent her into a seizure...theres no joke here. It happened.
just cheers'ed a flock of cattle as i drove past eating a burger i bought 7 hours ago. that high.
This is the high leading the old right now
Katelyn drunkenly ripped the soap dispenser off the wall so we decided to call it quits
Ok cuz s'mores night just turned into pina colada after noon and it will be mas fun
I gave the guy a $20 tip on a $9 cab ride, he thought I was just bad at math but I was really just incredibly thankful to be alive and home.
I was like "don't worry, I'm a math major and you deserve the shit out of that 222% tip"
I know it sounds all cute and shit that I wanted him to be with me last night, but it's not cute. I just wanted to fuck.
I already left my house once this summer. Maybe we could do something in October.
Honestly I really just want to do you in the mail truck. Thought about it a lot today
i wish i could say that was the first 40 year old woman from the circus I nailed
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