Chill out big head. its weird when girls look at dudes asses
Its not alright that i make out with a manican.
So how was last night?
Let's just say I danced with the devil
Huh?
I'm going to Hell for sure
HOLY SHIT! Did you see the dick on that Great White Shark?!?!?!
The solution to mudbutt is never ever Clorox wipes. It stings soooooooo bad.
ra ra ra ah ah
wtf?
sexting lady gaga style
Note to self: Not getting laid all weekend makes girls in mondays classes racks seem enormously bigger.
He doesn't like you, he likes u not having a gag relfex
My family will be here in an hour and I'm deciding between doing my makeup or saying fuck it and wearing what's left of last night's...
this st patricks day sucks
ill send jameson via bank tube 150+ miles
They just keep looking funny at me. No one has attempted to tell me that I don't make sense though so maybe they're all way more high than I am.
Shawn wouldn't stop singing about his cock on the ride home that night it freaked my girlfriend out how consistent he was
I'm tempted to randomly yell out 'SO HOW IS YOUR UNDERAGE GIRLFRIEND' but that would be callous
The last thing I remember is trying to chug the rest of the everclear, running through a fence, and laying down in the snow. I hurt.
It’s a dick. Seen one, seen em all. Unless it spews a fountain of tequila, I don’t need to see yours.
Randomize
