look out your window.... he's holding his iphone up like a boombox playing you beach boys
Its kinda awkward hearing him say the food taste like ass considering what he did last night.
his mom found me in the closet hiding and the only thing i could think of was to sit there and wave.
Does the whole "it was New Years" excuse apply this year?
Her voice kills me. Its the perfect pitch to fuck with my hangover.
A gay black guy with blonde hair and a gold tooth just told me he would shit on my face.
Now it's a party.
Accidentally gagged on my toothbrush and puked up a Walgreen's cheeseburger. 1) I am not going to be on top of my game tonight. 2) Since when do I have a gag reflex? 3) Walgreen's cheeseburgers are awesome.
I don't think boys are aware how difficult it is to take a picture of your own ass.
This day sucks. I just wanna play ostrich and bury my head in your boobs.
Oh god. Just tried to hail a pizza delivery car. Awkward.
International sake day = success
I just realized that in 3 weeks it becomes sad if I make everything into a drinking game. Fuck growing up
I just went through the Wendy's drive thru only wearing a towel. My life has hit an all time low
Woke up backwards on a recliner
I was the only one in group sessions to bring up sex as a stress reliever. Some of those people were awfully judgy despite the fact we were all in a psych ward.
Like how do you live your life and have never made a grilled cheese? The audacity of some people
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