I just snorted a line of adderall through a rolled up business card for the Michigan Law Admissions Office.... Tell me I'm not motivated
The doctor put me on 3000 mg of amoxicillin a day. Which, for a sinus infection, seems pretty excessive to me.
Maybe he was just trying to knock out any potential ghonorrhea you might be carrying around.
Ah, my reputation precedes me.
That's ok. Our relationship has a solid foundation of booze and questionable behavior.
he called you a drunk bob the builder and you proceeded to explain how you were going to build ramps throughout the house
I kept pulling the $1 bills off the stage and told everyone "no no no she has to work for this money"
he called AT&T to make sure that he had insurance before he threw his cell phone into the fountain.
I wanted to take a shower but I forgot we made applesauce in it last night.
She found 60 bucks at the strip club. Its probabably been in a vagina but really most money probably has
He had to carry me to the car. But then sat with me and waited for me to sober up enough to have sex. He's a keeper.
He used the phrase "no problemo" in a sext. It's over.
Is a 'Dr. Willy Fister Gynecologist' costume appropriate for work?
Been trying to fuck him since december. Finally got him into bed and he was uncircumcised. Why do bad things happen to good people?
Should I get the rainbow boxer breifs???
As your boyfriend, this is a level of gay that even I can't handle.
Told him my main goal was to seduce the man and convince him to leave his wife for me. He didn't argue just asked me to let him know if I succeeded so he didn't waste anymore time not sleeping with the secretary at his office. I have an incredible boyfriend.
He lit a shoe on fire and tried putting it out by peeing on it
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