oh. my. god. the guy i hooked up with last night is currently wearing a dress.
totally poinked my lawyers daughter in his hot tub last night. i figure getting off is just compensation for not getting me off.
The twins are whispering in turkish together. I think I did something bad last night.
It was cool in an 'oh shit I'm gonna get arrested' way.
She was standing in the road flagging traffic in a tshirt and boxers. I didn't stop.
All she wanted was a cigarette
would it be completely unacceptable to smoke a cig outside naked? im already doing it so what you say doesn't matter.
I feel like fucking him is something we all do but don't want to admit to. like masturbating or peeing in the shower
Apparently the Massachusetts Bay Transit Authority severely looks down on Chinese firedrills on a public bus
Yeah but the people love.
I was trying to pee in the bushes and the person who lived in the house where the bushes were planted started knocking on the window to get me to stop peeing in their bushes
I still can't get over the fact that he thinks I have my life together... That has to be one of the nicest yet most sadly misled things anyone has ever said about me
I bet your mom's never met a girl who's thrown up at the presidential inauguration before though.
so i showed up to the bars in a sombrero and a tie as a headband... so yeah, they didn't let me in
What's a nice way of saying 'I wish I hadn't fucked you.'
Its like my group of friends and I are all dating and we're all just a bunch of Swingers, is that normal?
Last night we proved the theory that "harder" is the worst rough sex safe-word ever.
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