shes hot in the i'd deny it if anyone asked kinda way
I fucked him in a hamburger. literally. he has a hamburger bed.
He puts stickers to promote his new shirt company in every sack he sells. He's like the donald trump of weed
I swear I could audibly hear her vagina slam shut when you walked up to hit on her.
Let's just say a refrigerator got involved and after that I had to send him home.
WHY DO YOU ALWAYS PUT THE PLUG IN THE SINK BEFORE YOU PUKE IN IT
I think I saw maybe 3 ugly girls the entire time we were there
Yea its like that frat house was built to keep fat chicks out of parties
Okay do all 29 year olds have erectile dysfunction or just the two I've slept with?
we played a my little pint drinking game. It was awesome.
Just remember that I named his dick Robo-cock before he got into the sheriff's department.
A milkman. But instead of milk I'm delivering marijuana. And instead of a milk truck it's an armored car.
You're a weed delivery man, in an armored car?
"YOU A2TE UNDERAGE LOL" Got that at 2am. Gotta stop dating alcoholics.
I think you are severely overestimating being able to get your lingerie back by posting the lyrics of Irreplaceable
Well as if this year didn't suck enough already, I can now count 2015 as the year I got chlamydia
I really wanted you to make me eggs this afternoon. I even wrote it on my hand to remind myself.
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