Got 6 blowjobs in one weekend... new personal best.
I just walked by that girl who tried to commit suicide over me in high school. That was weird.
he was drinking cheap vodka with warm tap water and a packet of crystal light. if that's not an alcoholic then idk what is
they call him Oral-B. enough said
So on how many levels of wrong is it that I'm reconsidering my divorce simply because I don't want to go through getting used to shitting around someone again.
I think my cats understand what porn is. And it's all my fault.
That place is a DUI and an STD waiting to happen. I think I'll pass.
We were in the middle of fucking and she was just like "Do ya wanna play Harry Potter Scene It?" I musta been really bad lol Anyways, her tattoo healed nicely.
Not as awesome as someone telling you that you have the biggest tits they've ever seen. And they're like 30-something, so they've seen a decent amount of tits in their lifetime.
You're the only person I know that could get laid while visiting their grandpa in florida
I didn't know how wild the party was going to be until one girl brought her pet raccoon
The sex was so boring I heard the people having sex next door and I wanted to stop just to listen
The modern romantic, surprising his gf w/ a gram of blow
I just did my taxes to sober up, I'm THAT hungover
So I might join you on the drunk train on the way to poor decisions.
Randomize
